A few months ago I happened upon a podcast in which two great thinkers discussed and disagreed on a range of subjects. I enjoyed the respectful and well-reasoned discussion and disagreement. At the same time, it dawned on me that the meaningful exchange of ideas has become scarce in our social media world.

Collectively, we have become slaves to our social media algorithms, which intentionally seek to fuel fury and quash genuine debate. I have not been immune to this. For a time, I became accustomed to the social media echo chamber in which the algorithm had placed me, while daily I was fed furious and frenzied posts that the platforms had decided confirmed my views.

Sadly, I have found the algorithm of echo chambers and furious and frenzied opinions have leapt out of social media into dispute resolution practice. It has therefore become more and more common for parties to be unable to work through conflict because they have not had to regularly countenance and consider opposing perspectives. The fury-fuelling algorithms have compounded the view that if you’re not with me, you’re against me.

In this increasingly polarised world, how do we navigate personal and business relationships? How can we resolve disputes in a world where our algorithms keep us at loggerheads with each other and where we seldom need to encounter online anything that does not confirm our world view?

Here are a few tips that I have used to counter algorithm-induced anger and that have enabled me to deal with conflict more easily:

Block blustering social media war mongers, even if they’re your friends and family!
Actively seek out people, pages, and posts with different views to yours - this causes chaos with the algorithm.
Actively review the content on your timeline, taking into account whether the content is interesting and informative or personality bashing and hyperbolic. Block personality bashers and those who spend time in hyperbolic fury.
Before blocking someone who has a different view to you, consider whether they have expressed their view with logic and reason and whether their point may have merit, even if you don’t agree with it.
Set limits to your social media time and spend more time interacting with friends, family, and colleagues outside of your electronic devices.

Having taken these steps I have found myself more willing to listen to the perspectives of those with differing views, consider the merits of an idea instead of the personality and politics of the person expressing it, and frame my position in a way that seeks to include the perspective of the person with whom I am disagreeing instead of attacking them.

In this light I have found that I’m more able to face views and people with whom I disagree without feeling threatened or exposed, and I can work towards resolving those disputes that can be resolved and accepting those that cannot. I’ve also found it’s easier to build bridges instead of burning them.